Perhaps it was waking up everyday to the same face. The woman who had tied him down with 3 children. The one who said that white picket fences, swap meets with neighbours and living close to good schools were more important than his dream to travel the world as a mime. He didn't want to but Henry resented his wife. He admired her ability to give up all of her dreams to give their children a good life. He still found her very attractive after these last 15 years. He had a life that others dreamed of but he was not other people. He needed some excitement. Some small thrill to show him that there was still hope of something new, something different, something spontaneous.

Perhaps it was this feeling which led him to start going to the race tracks. At first, it was a new experience and he loved the excitement. Slowly it became less exciting and more stressful. He bet larger and larger amounts on the races, seeking the thrill of the large risks. It was becoming harder to hide this habit from his wife, since his dealings at the race tracks were a serious drain on their finances. Henry knew he was developing a gambling problem, and knew that whatever he was seeking, this wasn't it. But his trips to the race tracks weren't a complete waste, for it is there that he met Joe Kassabar.

--
We've all been sorry, We've all been hurt
But how we survive,
Is what makes us who we are.

-Survive by Rise Against

Joe was one of those guys who just didn't give a shit. Anytime Henry would talk about wanting to go overseas and backpack across Europe, "go" Joe would say. Henry didn't know how to explain to him that it wasn't that easy. He had a wife and kids to worry about. He had to finish the TPS report by Friday and he had to find a way to get the money for the mortgage that he had gambled away. You just can't walk away from your problems in the real world. Everyone can't be a Joe Kassabar and sit at casinos all day, gambling and getting blow jobs in the bathroom from strange women. How would anything ever get done? Henry found himself far off in another world, a world where Joe Kassabar was King. Henry shook his head, remembering that no matter how exciting it sounded, that wasn't how the world worked. He threw his jacket over his shoulder and headed home.

That night, Henry didn't sleep well. Every time he finally got to sleep, he would dream of living the life of Joe and wake up with a tightening feeling in his stomache. Something about Joe challenged Henry in a way he had never found himself challenged before. Maybe Joe's outlook was right - maybe his way of living really was the good life. The life Henry was currently living certainly wasn't. The entire thing reminded Henry of the one ethics course he took in college which talked about the good life. Was the good life the one where you give into your hedonistic indulgences of Joe? Or was it a life of empty duty and responsibility? Exasperated and tired, Henry went to the washroom, downed a couple of the sleeping aids he kept for nights like this, and went back to bed.

--
We've all been sorry, We've all been hurt
But how we survive,
Is what makes us who we are.

-Survive by Rise Against

Henry awoke to his wife, dressed in one of her typical business suits, ready to face the unsuspecting world of home buyers. She had her foot on the matress beside him and was shaking him awake.
"Get up, you are late for work."
He peered at the alarm that he was only now aware had been buzzing for the last half hour. What had been a far off sound was now as loud and shrill as his wife's voice admonishing him. He reached over and shut the alarm off.
"I am sick. I don't want to go in and get the whole office sick before the weekend."
"There is nothing wrong with you. You need to go to work, we have bills to pay."
"Stomach flu."
Was he trying to convince her or himself? She sighed and stomped off to sell houses and make commissions. Fake smiles, pretend bargains and lies just to get some newlyweds into a 4 room house they don't need. Her life may even be worse than his. There was no time to think of that now though. Today, Henry was going to see Joe.

Joe had a small apartment that he shared with one other person - an old German man who didn't speak much English. It was there that Henry was going to see Joe. Henry had never actually been to Joe's place, and Joe wasn't expecting him. He had just given Henry the address once while drunk in a bar, telling him that if he needed a place to bring a woman without his wife knowing, he could bring her there.

--
We've all been sorry, We've all been hurt
But how we survive,
Is what makes us who we are.

-Survive by Rise Against

Henry decided to walk to Joe's place. He had a lot of thinking to do. He wondered what Joe's place could be like. Nothing would prepare him for what was to come. As he absently sauntered down the street, he heard his name called. Joe was sitting at a patio table outside a small delicatessen. He motioned for Henry to sit down across from him as he started shuffling some cards. Joe loved cards.
"Albrecht, Nahrung."
Almost immediately after Joe shouted to him, a little man with grey hair came shuffling out with a corned beef sandwich and a latte. It was odd for 9 am but Henry was hungry.
"So, you finally showed up. Like my place."
"The deli is your appartment."
"Partment's upstairs. The deli pays for the place. Albrecht knows how to run a deli and I know how to speak English. We make a good team."
"So, that's your room mate?"
"Husband."
Henry's jaw dropped. He stared in disbelief. Joe was always talking about his conquests. Could they have been men?
"It's not what yer thinkin'."
Joe went on to explain that he had visited Germany years back. He visited a little deli and fell in love with it. He would go there everyday for lunch. When it came time to come home, Joe just couldn't face the thought of the hustle and bustle of Jersey without those delicious sausages Albrecht made. He decided to bring the deli home with him. He bought the business from Albrecht and asked him to move to America and run it. It was harder for Germans to immigrate back then and the only way he could get in was if he had married and American. So, that's what they did. it was an interesting relationship. They were married by law and Albrecht was happy to work about the deli and take care of Joe. As for Joe, he discovered that he got more chicks when he wore his wedding band. He would bring them back to the place and tell them Albrecht was a guy he paid to let him use the place for his ladies.

Over a pair of corned beef sandwiches, Joe questioned Henry.
"So what brings you here? Shouldn't you be at work?"
"Yea, I should."
"Why aren't you there?"
"I didn't want to go in."
"Oh."
There was a short silence. Henry sighed apprehensively.
"Remember the time we met? At the race tracks?"
"Of course."
"Do you know why I was there?"
"To bet on some horses and blow off some steam, I assumed."
"Look, I hate my job. I hate my life. I was trying to escape it. I couldn't sleep last night."
"Oh..."
Another short silence. It was broken by Joe this time.
"You know, sometimes I don't get you. You do all of these things and you know you hate them. You go to a job you hate, you go home to a wife you resent, what kind of life is that?"
"Joe, it isn't that simple. I go to the job I hate because I have responsibilities. I have kids at home. I have a mortgage. I need to go into work."
"So why are you here?"
Henry pondered this for a minute while Joe went and got them a couple of beers. When Joe came back, it was like a confession.
"Joe, I like you in a weird sort of way. You represent everything I didn't do in my life. Every choice I made, you did the reverse. The reason I am here is that you are the escape from my life - you are the polar opposite. If I need a vacation from my life, the furthest I can go is hanging out in your life for a bit. But that's not why I'm here. I need something more permanent than just hanging out with you once in a while. So I am taking a page from your book. I've decided, just this morning, I am finally going to go to Europe like I wanted to. And I want you to come with me."

--
We've all been sorry, We've all been hurt
But how we survive,
Is what makes us who we are.

-Survive by Rise Against